Back To Me

Short and Sweet

I am more exhausted than I have ever been in my ENTIRE life.

Every night, usually around the 3-ish feeding, I question whether or not I can continue to do this. Because seriously, I need some sleep.

Then the morning comes and it's not so bad. I think of all the other mothers out there that have done this, survived, and gone on to decide to birth even MORE children. So really. It will be okay.

But then the middle of the night rolls around and I'm right back where I was 24 hours before.

So please. PLEASE. Tell me it gets easier. I've heard it before but I really need to hear it again.

Baby Shower: Pictorial Overview of My Favorites

Th Boy has Crocs. Could you just die from the cuteness?

I can't get over how amazingly awesome this is. My mom's friend had it made. Um, he'll wear this All The Time.

The Boy now has a jaunty cap that will make him speak in an English accent while we call him Pip.

Super cool robot stuff. That's a robot bib, a robot shirt and yes, his first pair of ROBOT BOXER SHORTS. See? Boy clothes can be cute without having bears and trucks on them--hooray!

My mom found books with his name in the title. I had no idea there were so many. We can't wait to read them to him!

Speaking of books, everyone who came to the shower was asked to bring a book instead of a card to help build his library. Look at all of them! He has his own full book shelf already!

I'll write more later, but it was an absolutley wonderful day. We are so spoiled by the generosity of our family and friends, it's overwhelming. I was able to attend but it really wore me out so I've literally been laying down since we got home yesterday afternoon. But it's all good. So very very good.

Obvious: Captain of

I have a hard time understanding that I will not be pregnant forever. That this belly will not be in the way until the day I die, and that I won't be on bed rest until the end of time. I do realize, however, that I will have a baby, but I can't separate the two. As in:

"How am I going to be able to carry him in his car seat to the car if I'm supposed to be laying down and not lifting anything heavy?"

or

"Man this belly is TOTALLY going to get in the way when I'm breastfeeding."

Hey, I never said common sense was my strong suit.

Spendy

He needs this:

Second verse, same as the first

Okay, we're going to try this again.  I should be discharged tomorrow morning.  Contractions and dialating have stopped, and I'm responding to the new meds really well.

But the new meds?  Um, given by a permenant port attached to my thigh.  Believe me, pictures to come!

It's not painful, surprisingly.  The responsibility is a bit overwhelming though.  All the meds.  And the timing.  And I have to hook myself up to a contraction monitor for an hour twice a day and send my readings to special nurses so they can keep track of what's going on.  I guess this is the best of both worlds, in that I will have constant monitoring, but will be home.  Still.  It's a lot to wrap my mind around.

The Boy is still doing WONDERFULLY, flopping around and chillin' with a regular heartbeat.  I keep telling him to hang on to something in there, and he needs to listen Because I'm The Mom, That's Why.

Again, will post more when we get settled.

Your love and support finally made me cry today.  Haven't cried throughout any of this yet, until today and because of you.  I really can't thank you enough.

Son Of A Bitch

Back in hospital after being home not quite 24 hours.

New meds.

Will know more in the morning. Theo is still doing great, but I dialated a bit more, so that's a cause for concern.

Details forthcoming. Thank you all for your prayers and well-wishes. I can't tell you how much they mean.

XOXOXO

It's Where The Heart Is

We're home from the hospital--yeah! But at the same time I'm totally freaked out. Because, like, there are no medical professionals here with us. No monitors. No around-the-clock emergency care. Just us. To make sure nothing goes wrong and if it does, to do something stat. It's up to me now to Not Move Too Much.

Whew.

I love being home and not hooked up to anything. I can go to the bathroom in seconds, as opposed to having to unhook the IV, the fetal heart rate monitor, the contraction checker-thing, and the compression casts for my legs to prevent blood clots. By that time I would have almost peed in bed. To say going to the bathroom was an ordeal (once an hour I might add) is an understatement.

I also love being able to sleep in the same bed as my husband. With. My. Snoogle.

I WILL miss, however, the room service, the cable TV, and the adjustable bed. But really, home is still better :-)

Will keep you all posted when I get fully settled tomorrow as I embark on Bed Rest: Day One.

Update

Hey guys. Just a quick update, and a HUGE thank you for your support, prayers and well-wishes. Checking in has really helped raise our spirits and the sense of community has been overwhelming. More on that later.

Things are better today, and it looks like the threat of having him this week has died down, as all the meds are working and my contractions are under control and almost non-existant. I had dialated, and that got us a meeting with the NICU doctor, a preemie video to watch and a private NICU tour for Bryan. So things were a bit crazy yesterday. But I stopped dialating, I'm not contracting much, and the little chicken is still doing wonderfully. His heartrate hasn't been affected though all of this, and he has still had A LOT of fetal movement. He's a happy dude which puts a lot of peace in our hearts--just knowing he's doing well.

Had an ultrasound this morning just to check his measurements and see hoe developed he is and he's clocking in at 5 1/2 pounds--holy geeze! So that's good. The placenta and amniotic fluid look great, so there's nothing fishy going on in that. Oh, and he's FOR SURE a boy let me just tell you. Wow.

So that was another great relief as well.

Had two steroid shots to turbo charge his lung development which is the first concern for a premie, so we're ahead of the game in that department. Another good sign.

Bryan and I are going to get some sleep--as we had a ton of visitors today (Yeah! Thanks guys!) So I will update when I can. And I will be a blogging fool when and if I go on bed rest because hey, I'll need something to do! And you all better write to me lots!

Thanks so much again. I can't tell you how much it has meant.

P.S. So Bryan spilled the beans on the name. I tried not to be upset, since he didn't know I was keeping it as an unveiling of sorts when he was born. But I'm still kinda bummed. Yes. Theo Thomas better stay in there or he's SO grounded it's not even funny. Kristin said he must have accidently pushed the Activate Launch Sequence button in there on accident or something. Naughty! Don't touch things you don't know anything about!

End Of An Era

It has finally happened:  my stomach is so compressed I wasn't able to finish my lunch.

I have never NOT finished something, especially lunch.  I mean c'mon--it's just lunch!  Nothing huge, heavy or fancy.  And I am not exaggerating when I say I always finish what's on my plate.  I mean, except for some desserts but that's different.  In a strange way, I feel like a failure, staring at the remaining tomato soup and crackers in my bowl.

Include with this the record-setting FIVE bathroom trips from midnight to seven this morning and the heartburn that kept me awake most of the night, and I'm starting to think this kid means business.

My Uterus: an update

This kid has the hiccups a lot now.  And since he's probably head-down, the repetitive thumps are against my bladder, which isn't nearly as much fun as it sounds.  Trust me.

I've had a few Braxton-Hicks contractions and they are WILD.  Nothing to be alarmed about though, as they are normal, as long as I don't have more than four per hour.  I compare the sensation to my uterus turning into a shrinky-dink for a minute or so, and then going back to being squishy.  They don't hurt, but they sure are distracting.  AND will get you extra attention at work, fyi.

The Boy is being likened to a cabbage, per BabyCenter.com.  At least this week I know what a freakin' regular head of cabbage looks like, as opposed to last week when he was a Chinese cabbage.  Apparently, next to all the pregnancy books, one must also have The Joy of Cooking in order to fully comprehend the growing child's development.  Who knew?

I caught a glimpse of myself walking past a mirror at work today and all of a sudden I was like:  "Holy crap, I suddenly look like a MOM."  What 'a mom' looks like, stereotypically, I really don't know.  But I was struck with that realization and it caught me off guard.  Don't ask me to explain, just take my word for it it and hand me another cookie.