Ways in which I excel at Motherhood:
1). Earlier in the week I was putting Theo to bed. His room was pitch black as usual, and as I was holding him he said what he always says, "Mommy rub ma back?" So I did what I always do and walked over to his crib to put him in on his tummy. But I must have, I don't know, gotten LOST or something and misjudged where I was in relation to the crib because when I went to put him down I heard a loud THWACK and then a tiny "Ouch." Yes friends. Right before sending my child off into a restful sleep, I crack his head on the side of the crib. I can't even tell you just how LOUD it was. And the fact that all he said was "ouch" made my heart hurt even more. I kissed him all over, told him mama was so sorry, asked if he was okay. I was crying by this time because I felt just so awful, and had horrid thoughts running through my head such as: "Well, he might have a concussion. But it's bed time. So if he sleeps that's a bad thing, but if I keep him up and he DOESN'T have one then us all staying awake for no reason sure would suck. WHATDOIDOWHATDOIDOOMG?!?" His response? "Mommy move! Rub ma back?" Sigh. He was of course fine but I needed half a bag of Rolos to feel better.
2). Theo is a really good eater as I'm sure you can tell by photos. The camera may add ten pounds but trust me, homeboy is taking no prisoners when it comes to meal time is what I'm saying. So overall dinner isn't a hassle. We do run into the occasional problem when he's a wee bit crabby and instead of announcing "All done!" he chooses instead to chuck his food off his high chair. This is obviously an area we're working on. Well, Friday night gave us a visit from the Whambulace and dinner was proving to be stressful for both of us. He had finished most of his meal except for a few apple chunks. I saw the signs. I knew what was coming. So just as he started to flip out and raise his apple-filled paw I grabbed his wrist to stop him and tell him No. Well the act of me holding his wrist threw him into a full-body rage and he flailed so mightily my thumbnail jabbed just below his left eye, causing it to bleed. The look that crossed his face in those first seconds of it happening was that of betrayal and heart break. Oh the open-mouthed SOBBING and quarter-sized TEARS! I truly felt horrible but the icing on the cake? Was when, in the middle of it all he wails, "I eat it mommy! I eat it!" and popped the apple chunk in his mouth, which he then choked on because he couldn't eat it AND sob at the same time. Really, the meal from start to finish could not have been more flawless.
3). I apparently have no regard for my son's incredibly painful diaper rash, thus proven at the exact moment I forgot and goosed his diapered tushie, making him cry.
Let us all say a collective prayer that Theo will make it to see his second birthday, no thanks to me.