Growing up I had a number of friends. I'd never classify myself as The Popular One by any means, but I wasn't an outcast either. Right down the middle, which was fine with me. That's not to say that I didn't have dorky tendencies (good thing I outgrew THOSE later on huh? HUH? Erm. . .) that would draw some less-than-desirable attention, resulting in ridicule and humiliation. I mean, I had huge permed hair for YEARS and in fourth grade I got braces AND glasses. Glasses that I selected myself, and in a state of delusion chose clear plastic OCTAGON frames that literally took up my whole face. God bless my mother who didn't laugh like a hyena and let me get them anyway because I loved them so much. But man. That was a special look for sure. And don't even get me started with my whole 'turtleneck/flannel shirt phase' because that was rough too.
But I know I'm not the only one--horror stories are a part of growing up. We ALL have to have some embarrassing baggage we're carting around. So! I would like us all to embrace the horrors of our childhood. Let us share the most traumatic of experiences tucked way in the back of our psyche that make us cringe and turn beet red at parties. And as an added bonus? Let's laugh at each other. Woo!
I will go first:
Starting (did you get that? STARTING. Meaning it continued on!) in 6th grade I got made fun of on a daily basis for having no boobs. The clincher was riding the bus home. We were the last stop so by that time there were only three kids, myself included. Two were boys. So, these boys named J and M would sit in the very back. I, however, wanted to stay away from them as I was essentially on my own so I sat in the first seat, slinking down as far as I could to hopefully go undetected. I think my strategy was that the bus driver would be an authority and obviously protect me in some way. Well, it seems Cheryl didn't see that clause in her contract as she offered no support whatsoever. Thanks!
So, once the rest of the kids cleared out, they would start taunting me for the duration of the ride home--about five minutes. THE LONGEST FIVE MINUTES IN THE HISTORY OF THE KNOWN UNIVERSE. For those five minutes they would come up with some variation of me being flat. Or boobless. Or indented. Their most genius analogy was that I was as flat as a prairie. So for almost two years that became my new nickname. Prairie. I gotta say though, that was pretty clever. J and M were clearly not satisfied with your run-of-the-mill taunts. Oh no! They decided to encompass our native Illinois landscape and brought that into play. Well done, boys. I have no doubt that their science teachers were very proud.
Yeah, I had no boobs. And unless I'm gestating I still don't. But see how far I've come since I'm sharing this story with the internet? That has to count for SOMEthing. I also have no unresolved issues pertaining to non-mountainous landscapes so clearly I am a well-adjusted person in spite of The Trauma Bus Years. Take that J and M!
But now it's your turn. Don't leave me dangling in the wind here--join me. What is horrible story from your childhood that is embarrassing and makes you cringe just THINKING about it?