We've been having some horrid weather around here lately consisting of a lot of pressure changes, humidity, and the threat of rain. This lovely combination wreaks havoc on my sinuses, causing debilitating headaches. Like, I'm not even kidding, I can hardly hold my head up and I'm overcome with nausea. I actually had to leave work in the middle of the day last week I was so sick. And let's be honest, if I'm taking a half-day from work I'd like it to be for something FUN. So needless to say, feeling the way I've felt on and off for the past week I haven't exactly been Fun Mommy. Instead I'm Sitting On The Floor Making Sure My Child Doesn't Eat Electrical Cords While Trying Not To Fall Over And Die Mommy. Read: not engaging. Theo is still happy as a clam but it makes me sad that I'm not playing with him. And this got me thinking about getting pregnant again.
HOW ON EARTH CAN I FUNCTION WHILE WORKING AND BEING A MOM TO A TODDLER WITH HORRIBLE MORNING SICKNESS AND EXHAUSTION AGAIN OMG?!?!
Now, I know you're all going to tell me that A). Women do this all the time and sometimes even go on to have more than two kids so it's not the end of the world, and B). I wouldn't have a choice, I'd just have to do it.
Looking back I honestly don't know how I managed to go to work every day in my first trimester. But I did. I also don't know how I survived the first four months of Theo's life since I was beyond exhausted, and even went back to work in the thick of it. But I did. So why would getting pregnant again be any different this time around?
BECAUSE I KNOW.
I went into it blind before. Now I know things. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. And I'm sorry, but that makes it ten times harder to go back into the fire for me. None of that ignorance is bliss you hear so much about. Oh no, not this time. However, I do look forward to being more knowledgeable in certain areas. Doing it better the next time. But sheesh, I'm just not there yet. And being sick this past week was a smack in the face on having to juggle illness/motherhood/work. I could even take a cocktail of drugs too! In the first trimester I was told to basically only look at the OTC meds but don't touch, and to sniff some Vicks. Now I'm popping more pills than Lindsay Lohan and I STILL feel awful.
So really. How will I know when I'll be ready for another baby and when I am, how on EARTH will I juggle morning sickness while having a toddler that I can't ignore (and more importantly, don't want to). There is also the slim chance the next time around will bring less puking, but let's not count on that. I'm looking for worst case scenarios here.