Back To Me

Cheers!

There has been some shuffling around at New Workplace lately and, because of which, I got my own office.  Over the course of my entire working career I have never had my own office, complete with walls and a door with a lock.  And this isn't just ANY office, it's the Dean's old office and lo, it is sizable.  The downside is it's an interior office so there are no windows.  The pressure to buy stuff to hang on the walls is intense.  Like, I suddenly need to become an art collector or something, since taping posters to the wall wouldn't really fly.  I've been unpacking the last few days and arranging things to look not only presentable but decorated.  At times it has been a challenge.

I have a five foot tall shelving unit that I was unpacking.  On the top of the unit I had placed a few of our college coffee mugs and filled them with pens and highlighters that we give away to prospective students.  Behind them, to add a little vertical action I artfully arranged some school literature.  Again, the walls are bare and I was desperate!  I proceeded to make my way down the shelves, filling them with work stuff and family photos.  As I was unpacking the bottom shelf I had to squat down so I was practically laying on the floor.  Then there was a grating sound coming from above that wasn't the most pleasant sound I had ever heard.  Even though all this happened in a matter of seconds, I rationalized that if I just keep my head down and not look up it would go away and I could pretend like nothing was happening.  Note: not very effective.

A second later the ceramic coffee mug came crashing down on the back of my skull and broke into three pieces. 

So yeah, it hurt.  A lot.  But I wasn't bleeding so I figured it wasn't a huge deal.  As more people found out about what happened, Workplace wanted me to go to Urgent Care to make sure nothing crazy was going on in my noggin.  Okay, let me clarify, nothing OUT OF THE ORDINARY that is.  Ahem.

Over the course of an hour I felt a little nauseous and my right eye was a smidge blurry.  This didn't last long but was still unwelcome.

I had the pleasure of sitting at Urgent Care for four and a half hours since it was packed.  At first blush I thought everyone was there because of the Swine Flu but the majority were there because of after-school sports injuries (one kid broke his wrist so badly it was in the shape of the letter Z and I am totally not even exaggerating.  Blergh.) so I didn't feel like I was being exposed to death, which is always nice.

*While I was waiting there was a mom there about my age with her daughter who was around Theo's age and she was alone.  The mom was there because she thought she had Strep.  Her daughter was exhausted and kept crying and screaming and was generally miserable.  I felt so horrible for the mother because for one she didn't feel well, and then she had the stress of a screaming toddler in a room full of people.  I knew exactly how she must have felt and hearing those cries broke my heart.  They sounded JUST like Theo's.  I had a tightness in my chest and was close to having an anxiety attack.  Then I started to think about what I would want or need in that situation.  A little help.  So I went over to her and said that I had a 14 month old at home and I totally know how she feels so if she needed anything--like to go to the bathroom or something--then to please let me know.  Granted, I doubted she'd leave her daughter with a total stranger so she could go pee, but I thought a friendly sympathetic face might make her less stressed out.  She smiled and said thanks.  Then!  As I was walking away!  I turned around and said all chipper: "Oh, and I'm not contagious or anything, I just have a head injury!" and left.

I officially became That Crazy Person You Talk About To Your Friends And Family.  I can't even imagine how freakish I sounded holy geeze.  But I meant well and that's all that matters, right?  RIGHT?

When I was finally seen by a nurse she asked me all these questions to determine my level of brain damage.  I was so tired by that point that when she said, "What day is it?" I totally spaced.  I could only really say "Um, Wednesday or Thursday?" and luckily that was enough for her.  But dude, I can't tell you what day it is under NORMAL circumstances so I don't really think that answer should count towards my grade.

After all was said and done I just had a lot of swelling and a major headache.  No internal bleeding or anything creepy like that.  I got the day off of work today to take it easy and the go-ahead to down four Advil at a go.  Hollah!

I gotta say though, I doubt the Dean ever had these problems when she was in this office.

*EDITED: I came back and added this part.  Can't believe I forgot to mention it.

backtohim.typepad.com

I've had a request to post some more updated pictures of Theo.  ". . .not that I don't love reading your lists!" this person said.  Yeah I get it.  It's not about me any more, it's about the baby.  Sigh.  You think I'd know this by now--I'll just go ahead and change the blog name.

9-5

Going back to work was really hard for me.  Not just leaving Theo to be cared for by someone else, so therefore having a piece of me missing eight hours a day, but the stress of juggling both roles.  Being needed in every direction and having to sacrifice one over another at times, the exhaustion, the guilt.  It's a lot.

The thing that makes my life a bajillion times easier?  Our daycare provider.  Theo goes to a woman's house a few times a week.  She watches a total of five kids, ranging in age from 13 months (Theo) to four years.  The group is great--no bullies or brats--and it's the most perfect environment we could have ever asked for.  The kids come over and pat Theo on the head and say hello when I drop him off.  He squeals with delight and never bats an eyelash that I'm leaving.  They play in the yard all day and do crafts outside when the weather is beautiful.  She takes them to watch the trains in town (a huge hit with the boys, including my son!).  Dropping him off there is like an extension of our home, and in some ways it's even BETTER because she has a huge backyard for romping, and a long driveway for artistic chalk scribblings.  I'm not even kidding when I say that Theo gets BORED with us at the end of the weekend, almost like he's checking his watch and asking, "So, um. . .HOW much longer until I can go to Mrs. D's?  Because seriously, you guys are getting lame."  And there is no more comforting feeling than that.

His daycare provider offered to come sit with us at the ER when we had to take Theo there in December.  She came to my mom's house when we had his first birthday party (and he made a beeline for her, passing his great-grandmothers!  Whoops!).  When Bryan and I are having a scheduling conflict--we only have one car--she offers to pick Theo up and drive Theo home.  We are so blessed and couldn't have asked for a more wonderful person to mentor and care for our son.

This is how I get through the work day.  I never have to bite my fingernails wondering if he's okay or having fun.  If he's eating healthy foods.  Sitting in a poopy diaper.

I hope any woman that has to go back to work has the piece of mind knowing their child is in the best day care situation possible.  I now understand why people say that they couldn't put a price on good child care.  It is worth its weight in gold.

Giving spirit

Here's another one to help get you through the weekend.  I love this kid.  He is FEELIN' IT (and my favorite part is at 2:35):

Some weekend entertainment

I don't know about you but when I'm crusing around the ol' blogosphere on the weekends I get a little twitchy.  Hardly anyone updates and there is rarely anything new to look at.  Yeah yeah yeah they are all out enjoying the weather or spending time with family, I get it.  I do that too.  But dude, I get some downtime  now and then and would appreciate a little tidbit occasionally.  Is that too much to ask?  No, of course not.  This is why I am posting a video that make me squeak with laughter in hopes you will enjoy.  That is, when you're done paying attention to your family.  Pshaw.

(Thanks to K for jogging my memory)

Life List, Part Deux

Continued:

11.  Whisk a handful of girlfriends away for an impromptu weekend in Vegas.

12.  Knit a sweater.

13.  Buy all of my close friends and family the most perfect birthday present, beautifully wrapped.

14.  Be credit card and medical debt free.  AND STAY THAT WAY.

15.  Make a five figure donation to charity.

16.  Own a summer house and pass it down to generation after generation.

17.  Make our family's Christmas stockings all in the same year.

18.  Suprise Theo and take him away for the weekend, just the two of us.

19.  Get my Master's degree.  In what, I don't know for sure, but that would be an amazing accomplishment.

20.  Actually be 100% satisfied with my hairstyle.

Have anything you'd like to add?

Hair Apparent

Let's talk about hair for a minute.  Specifically mine, for we have problems.

I knew everything to expect before getting pregnant.  I knew about the weight gain, the muscle aches, the swelling, the break-outs, the whole nine yards.  I even knew about the hair loss after having the baby and I was cool with all of it.  For the record, I have crazy-thick hair.  Everyone fawns over it wishing for my pelt but trust me, it's not all Pantene Pro-V over here.  Thick hair is hard to style and it's HOT in the summer.  Woe is me, I know.  So I really wasn't worried at all about possible hair loss after being pregnant.

About two months after Theo was born it started.  I was in the shower washing my hair and clumps of hair came out.  I wish I had taken a picture because it honestly looked like a family of squirrels exploded around the drain.  No biggie, I thought.  Less hair to worry about, easier to manage.  Look at me, going with the flow!

Cut to a year later. I now am blessed with 1 1/2 inch CHUNKS of hair scattered all around my hairline and throughout my head.  If I pull my hair back (which is a preferred method 95% of the time) I have wings, about six of them.  And heaven help me if it's humid out oh dear GOD.  I got my hair done two weeks ago and a direct quote from my stylist upon attempting to highlight and cut my hair: "Oh. . .oh MY.  Um. . .well. . .this will certainly test my blending skills!"  When asked how long it would take to grow out?  "We will find styles to make it less obvious."  NOT A DIRECT ANSWER KTHXBAI.

So I beg you, if you have had this type of problem please commiserate with me.  How did you get through it?  And hats are not an option.

Life List, Part #1

I'm in a place in my life where I want to make some changes.  More ambitious!  Not as lazy!  More involved!  AHH!  Maggie has a Life's To Do list and I think it's a fabulous idea and a great way to create goals and hopefully achieve them.  Plus I love crossing things off so there's that motivation factor as well.  Hey, I don't claim to be complex.

The First 10:

1.  Plan a fancy sit-down dinner for 12 of our closest friends complete with a theme, china, and place cards. 

2.  Drop Theo off at college.

3.  Travel to Italy with Bryan.

4.  Take dance lessons (Swing, Ballroom, Salsa).

5.  Take a cooking class with a group of girlfriends.

6.  Quilt Theo's Christmas jammies when he's 18.

7.  Throw an elaborate and successful surprise birthday party (but I can't say for who as it won't be a surprise).

8.  Own a home.

9.  Get paid to write.

10.  Ice skate at Rockefeller Center. 

Safety Town

Ask anyone who knows me--I would never be described as adventurous.  I have never desired to throw myself out of a perfectly good plane, or jump off a bridge with all my hopes in an elastic rubber band.  That form of adrenaline rush doesn't appeal to me.  Rock climbing?  Yes.  That is some kick-ass fun right there and I haven't been in years.

I've been thinking about this because now that I'm a mother I have different responsibilities.  My role in life has changed and I have to take that into consideration when making decisions.  I was rocking Theo to sleep the other night and just looking at his peaceful face made me realize that he needs me for the rest of his life and I can't let him down.  This of course doesn't mean I have to sit in a padded room forever.  But if I were to ever have a mid-life crisis of some sort I honestly don't think I'd choose an adrenaline junkie path to fulfill it.  In my opinion, there are enough risks in the day-to-day so I won't tackle race car driving or Ultimate Fighting and risk my son losing his mother.  Maybe these feelings will subside but as of right now, I feel strongly about this.  I need to take care of myself, stay healthy and get enough sleep.  I need to be present for my family.

This doesn't seem like an uncommon way of thinking for mothers, as I know of a lot of moms who have changed their lifestyles once having kids.  Whether that was giving up smoking, drinking, junk food, adding exercise to their daily routine, or focusing on having a positive life outlook, women change once having children and I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing.

Tell me, if you have kids, have you made some drastic life changes because of your role as a mother?  And do you agree with my lack of extra curricular thrill seeking activity?  Or am I being a scardy cat?  Go ahead, I can take it.

Empty

I had a handful of things planned to write about but all of that is very trivial right now.  For those of you who don't know, a very special little girl named Maddie Spohr passed away yesterday at only 18 months old.  She was born premature and had always had trouble breathing, but for some reason this weekend she got really sick and was never able to get better.  This news has rocked the Internet and Twitter, and people across the country are pulling together to help this family in any way possible.  Here are a few ways you can help:

Heather and Mike have asked that donations be made to the March of Dimes in Maddie's name.

There is a PO Boxset up for the family to help pay for the service and expenses, as well as a PayPal account formaddie@hotmomreviews.com .

The service will be held on Tuesday in California, but people are being asked to wear purple that day regardless of where you live to show your support.

If you want frequently updated information, you can read the Spohr's friend Meghan's Twitter feed here .  Sadly, if you go back far enough you will read when things went from bad to worse.  Heather Spohr's Twitter feed is here if you want to send her thoughts and prayers.

I have so much to say and nothing to say.  My heart physically hurts for this family--I feel sick.  It doesn't seem real.  All babies should be born healthy and perfect and stay that way.  No parent should have to bury their child.  No coffin should be smaller than six feet long.  Oxygen masks shouldn't be made for little faces.  Babies shouldn't have to sleep in a hospital crib.  NO PARENT SHOULD HAVE TO COME HOME TO AN EMPTY HOUSE.

Memorial video here.

We love you Maddie.  God Bless you and your beautiful spirit.