Just like The Daily Show

I was interviewed by my cousin Kevin, so I'm posting it here. I was then instructed to have an open call for any of YOU who want to be interviewed by ME. Leave a comment stating your desire and I'll hop on it. You'll then have to post it to your blog if you have one--you know, like one of those meme things.

Well, my goodness. These are some EXcellent questions, I must say. None of this "What is your favorite color" for you! Okay. I'm rolling up my sleeves and diving in:

Q. Anyone who knows you realizes you are a huge animal lover. Let's say if you could domesticate any animal on the planet, what would you like to have as a pet?
A. Okay, so my first thought was "Animals need to stay in the wild where they belong. I don't want to domesticate something for my own selfish reasons and become Paris Hilton or something." But! Then! I thought "Well for goodness sakes, it's not really going to happen so answer the freakin' question." And to that I say: A Meerkat. For the record, I loved them long before they got their own series on Animal Planet and they became 'cool'. Bryan and I are obsessed with these little guys and I think if we had one at home we'd crack up every single day (I'm also assuming our two cats wouldn't try and eat him since this is an imaginary situation.)

Q. Both you and I are only children and, all be it different circumstances, were primarily raised by our mothers. What are some pros and cons to being brought up that way, both as an only child and being raised by mom?
A. Wow. Well, I'd say a major pro to being an only child was that I knew how to act around adults. I was around my mom and her friends instead of being ferried off to the playroom with my siblings. I was spoken to like an adult and I knew how to behave when adults were present. I was also raised to be an independent woman. My mom was on her own and I saw all that she was capable of without relying on a partner. My husband still gets frustrated with me sometimes because I insist on doing things all by myself without asking for help. But I'm still glad that I have always been able to think for myself and figure something out (most of the time!) instead of immediately running for help or throwing my hands in the air and thinking I can't do 'it' so what's the point of trying.

A major con to being an only child and only being raised by my mom would be: it was always my fault! I couldn't blame messes or broken cups on ANYONE. She knew it was only me! And seriously, I think a key part of childhood (i.e. blaming a sibling for my own indiscretions) was ripped away from me. So now, I blame things on our cats.

Q. I've known you 11 years now and if memory serves, you will be 30 sooner rather than later. Looking back 11 years ago, are you where you thought you would be, doing what you thought you'd be doing? If not, what is different?
A. Great question. Last year when I turned 27, it was really hard for me. Last year I felt like I was standing still and I wasn't where I thought I would be. This year, I'm feeling great! Things are moving forward, I'm happy, and life is pretty sweet. But 11 years ago I would have been 17, getting ready to graduate and start college. Back then I envisioned myself being married with two kids already living in the 'burbs around where I grew up. I figured I'd be a high school English teacher and already own a home. So am I married? Yes, quite happily. Do I have any kids let alone two? No. Do we have a house? No, we rent. Am I a teacher? Nope. I'm in sales. But really, this is where my life is supposed to be. I know that now. Things happen for a reason. Where I am now isn't so drastically different than what I thought. It's not like I'm homeless living in London after having done a stint in the Peace Corps. I don't have any stories that sexy! I'm on my way and things are good. Plus? I didn't know anything when I was 17. But I can say that now. Back then I wouldn't have listened!

Q. I know you follow politics a bit and are not a big fan of the current administration running our country and I'm with you on that one. What are the three most important issues to you as we enter the next campagin?
A. Oh this is so easy! Number One: THE ENVIRONMENT. Hands down. It's a no-brainer. I have been a recycling freak for 15 years and now I know that's not enough. We need to kick it up a notch. So Bryan and I are slowly working on being More Green. We intend to use cloth diapers when we have kids, we avoid driving if at all possible, conserve water and electricity, etc. I'm overjoyed that the global warming issue is getting a lot more press, so I hope, desperately, that more and more people pay attention. Drive a hybrid and use canvas bags because it's cool and not because you care about the environment, I don't care. Just do it.

End The War. What are we trying to prove? C'mon. Bring the troops home. Save some lives and some money. Georgie, you were wrong. Be a man and admit it.

Stimulate the economy, and not just line the pockets of a handful of already rich CEO's. The unemployment rates are horrendous, and with the rising cost of gas, the poor are getting poorer because they can barley afford to drive to their minimum wage jobs. If our President would stop taking vacations, maybe he would notice.

Q. You. Love. People. Magazine. So much, that I'm pretty sure that is how you would type it. We have one of those rags pop up around our house as a guilty pleasure from time to time and one of them has a section that features so-called celebrities doing random tasks called "They're Just Like Us!" I joke with your cousin, my wife, about it all the time. If you could take a picture of any celebrity doing whatever and tag the caption "They're Just Like Us" who would it be and what would they be doing?
A. I LOVE THAT SECTION! 'Cuz then it makes me feel like a movie star:-) Really, what I'd like to see is Oprah picking up piles of dog poo, putting it in a bag, realizing the bag has a hole in it, gets it on her hands, doesn't have anything to wipe it off with, scrapes her hands on the grass, and then has to carry the bag for a few blocks before she finds a garbage can.

That has happened to me on more than one occasion, might I add. And I'm sure to countless others.

Or! (I just thought of another one) How about seeing Victoria Beckham (aka Posh Spice) up in the middle of the night with her three kids that have the flu. They are all throwing up so she has to strip all those beds and throw the sheets in the laundry. Becks is in charge of getting the puke smell out of the carpets while she tends to changing their jammies and getting them ginger ale. They are all up until 5 a.m. Posh has to get up to go to work at 7 a.m. I'd like to see that too.

Granted we don't have kids, but I know people who've had this scenario happen to them. It sucks. I'm not a fly on the wall, but I'd feel confident betting Posh and Becks don't roll that way, and the hired help takes care of the 'icky' parenting stuff.

So there you have it. More than you wanted to know, I'm sure. But it was a pleasure. You did an excellent job, and I hope I did your questions justice.

Comments

[pseudostoops]

ooh! ooh! pick me! i could use a kick start to write something, and being interviewed by you seems a good way to get my butt in gear.

[cjh]

Those were really fantastic questions. And good answers, too. Do me, do me!

[Kemp]

oooo! oooo! oooo! Pick me Mister Kotter!

Seriously though... I'll do it.

[sass]

boing boing here to say....
holy hell, pick me, MEEEEEEEEEE!
woo! :D
*boing boing boing*

[SJ]

What awesome answers! I think I did this before, but if you want you can interview me again.....

[Bubba's Sis]

You can do me, too!

[aimee/greeblemonkey]

Loved reading that, very fun.